You What?

Ethel Massing, Innovation Program Leader, Parkview Health
Sep 12, 2022
Jeffrey Crane
You What?

Do you have a nickname?
Sadly, no, but I do have a whole poster to display all the wrong names I’ve been called since I’ve worked at Parkview. Some of them are close to my name, like Ellen or Evelyn, but some are not, like Hazel and Millie. 

What is your favorite part of your job?
I get to see and test the newest health care technologies before they’re released to the rest of the world.

What is your greatest accomplishment?
Leaving an abusive relationship and starting over with nothing but a lawn chair, an air mattress and a great group of friends.

Do you have a motto you live by? If so, what is it?
You may not be able to change the whole world, but you can help someone change their whole world.

What would you choose as your last meal?
I’d probably die before I ate. I’m terrible at choosing what I want to eat.

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party (living, dead, famous, real or fictional)?
Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Tina Fey, Melissa McCarthy and Maya Rudolph.

What three items would you want with you if you were stranded on a desert island (other than food and water)?
One of my dogs to warn me of impending danger, a device to listen to podcasts and my husband. I’m not outdoorsy or handy, and I’d need someone who could build a shelter and do survival-y things.

What profession would you never try?
Snake wrangler.

If you could solve one major problem, what would it be?
Homelessness. No one should have to sleep on the street. 

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve been given?
Do what’s best for you, because it will be best for the organization, too.

Name one person who has inspired you in your life.
My grandma. She raised four kids on her own after her husband died. She was independent and tough.

What fad do you wish would come back or stay gone forever?
I hope high, teased bangs never come back into style. 

What age do you wish you could permanently be and why?
I would say my current age. I finally feel accomplished, confident and comfortable with where I am in life.

What was the last gift you gave someone?
I brought my boss back a snarky coffee mug from Ireland.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
I once ate a fried mealworm in front of a full auditorium at a Gifted and Talented Teacher conference.

What is the most productive time of day for you?
Late at night when everyone else is in bed. It’s amazing how many emails you can send when no one is awake to answer you back.

If you could send a message to the entire world, what would you say in 30 seconds?
The best thing you can be in your life is kind.

When was the last time you tried something new?
I just rode an electric scooter for the first time. I have a habit of breaking bones when I try new things, but I came out of that experience unscathed.

If you had to teach someone one thing, what would you teach?
I am a facilitator for Google’s #IamRemarkable program. I would continue to use that platform to teach people how to advocate for themselves. 

If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to cast as you?
Jenny Slate – she’s just the right mixture of neurotic and quirky.

Describe yourself in three words.
Determined, achiever, innovator.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
An astronaut teacher. I was in 3rd grade when the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded, and every Weekly Reader we read for months was about Christa McAuliffe.

What was your first job?
Scooping ice cream at The Flagpole when I was 14.

Where will you go on your next vacation? 

If you could give your 15 year-old self advice, what would it be?
Be more kind to yourself.

What’s your biggest fear?
Being abducted.

What is the best gift you have ever been given?
A second chance.

If you had a time machine, where and to what time period would you travel?
The 50s/60s. I love the music and look great in a poodle skirt.

What is your dream job?
Mine! Minus the email.

What do you actually do at your job? 
I work with entrepreneurs to help them turn their ideas into reality. 

In what city did you grow up?
Warsaw, Indiana.

What is your biggest pet peeve?
When people don’t do the little things – throwing away trash, refilling something when it’s empty, etc.

What skill would you like to master?

Who was your first celebrity crush?
Kirk Cameron.

What does your workout regimen consist of?
I love my Peloton bike and app. I generally mix up my routine between cycling, yoga and barre classes.

What is the first movie you ever saw in a theater?
I don’t remember the first I saw, but the one I remember most from my youth is watching “Ghost” with my best friend in 7th grade. We were crying hysterically in the movie theater. 

What do you love most about Fort Wayne?
The first thing I fell in love with when I moved here is the variety of restaurants. I could finally get sushi on Sunday!

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you win a medal in?
Turning any activity into an injury-inducing event. 

If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
Australia. I’d love to scuba dive on the Great Barrier Reef.

What gets you excited and driven to achieve?
I want to help others achieve their dreams.

If you could go back in time, once, and change a single thing, what would it be?
I made a decision about 10 years ago to live my life without regrets. Everything I’ve done in life has led me to this place, so I don’t think I would change anything.

What do you collect?
Magnets from all the places I visit.

When was the last time you cried and why?
When I watched my kid play his last travel baseball game. It was the end of an era and the start of a new phase of our family life. 

What is your earliest memory?
Riding away from my mom on my tricycle and her chasing me with a flyswatter.

When were you happiest?
I think I’m in the happiest stage of my life now. I’m quite fulfilled in my job and personal life.

What trait or habit in yourself do you deplore?
My inability to make small decisions. 

Do you have any guilty pleasures? What are they?
Listening to true crime podcasts.

What is something that never fails to make you laugh?
Dad jokes – the cornier the better.

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